


A long road back

by orphan_account



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, talex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-12-26 14:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12061116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tobin is scared to get back out on the pitch until her former best friend Alex convinces her to.A short angsty-ish Talex drabble.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is for my friend Lucy, who wanted a Talex drabble. Sorry, it's been a while guys, I broke my ankle and have been busy with school. If you can avoid breaking bones then do it, it's not fun. Anyways throw back to Talex because they used to be my favorite ship when I first got into soccer, even before I liked Krashlyn. 
> 
> Typically I'm all about that PreTalex so I can have the best of three players, but ya know. 
> 
> Anyways hope you enjoy the little drabble, it's a bit angsty.
> 
> Oh I get to go to the USWNT vs CAWNT game in California in Nov. I am so excited.  
> Miss you all  
> ~Becks

It had been months, too many months, since Tobin had last played. She was itching to get out on the pitch, she had even been called up to the National Team camp again. She knew Jill was expecting greatness from her, but yet every time Tobin got close to the pitch she felt a sharp pain in her back. 

She tried to ignore it, but doubt was raining down on her like a thunder storm. Flashes of what she thought used to be soccer greatness were taunting her. Was it possible to be a washed-up player at twenty-nine? Tobin couldn't shake the depression that was clouding her mind, couldn't shake the fact that she felt like her best days were behind her. Maybe it was time to just hang up her cleats and give up. 

The player glanced out to the field, it wasn't even time for practice yet and the camp didn't start until the next day and yet some of her teammates were already warming up and getting their head into the right atmosphere. Tobin knew that should have been her, that normally it would have been her out on the field. 

She had never felt more at home than she did on a soccer pitch, and yet right now it felt like she was locked outside of her house. Her heart was aching and with a sigh, the girl moved from the bleachers to head to the locker-room. She didn’t think she could force herself to play, even looking at the field was giving her back spasms. 

"Hey T, where you going?" 

Tobin tensed at the sound of the voice calling out to her. She should have known that Alex would be out there, her former best friend had come to camp early. Alex was a perfectionist just like Tobin, and Tobin was cursing the fact that she had forgotten that. 

"If you're going to play, then you've headed the wrong way." Alex continued, the forward waiting for Tobin to turn around so they could talk. 

Tobin did finally turn but it was only to give Alex a less than welcoming look. "My back is hurting." She said simply as if that would be a good enough reason. 

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" Alex pressed back, arching a brow in challenge. "The Tobin I know would give anything to be back out on that field." 

Tobin did not like being put on the spot like that, she didn't like that Alex was so calm and collected when Tobin's own world was falling apart. "Yeah well, maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do." She said pointedly, trying to get Alex to back off. 

The Orlando player just stared back at her and sighed. "If you're still mad that I went to Orlando then I am sorry. I am sorry I let you down Tobin, but I do know you. I know that you can do this." Alex kept her voice low, and then took a step back. She couldn't force Tobin out on the field if she wasn't ready. 

Tobin shifted her gaze back out to the field, her heart longing to be on the pitch. She was scared though, she wasn't sure her back could stand up against a hit or being pushed. She felt like a strong forearm to her back would end her career for good. 

"I am scared." Tobin was surprised by the fact that the words had actually, escaped her. She supposed that Alex had always been good at getting to the root of her problems. 

Alex simply nodded, she could understand fear. It had taken her going to France for her to finally get her groove back. She could understand the fear of being hurt again, every time she got roughly tackled she had to deal with the fact that she wasn't sure she'd ever get up again. 

"Do you trust me?" Alex asked after a moment of silence. 

Tobin shifted uncomfortably. "Not really, not like I used too." She answered honestly. 

Alex felt the weight of the words, but she let them roll off of her. "Can you try to trust me for the next five minutes?" She asked, trying to get Tobin to look her in the eyes. 

Tobin didn't want to trust Alex, she wanted to run as far away from the forward as she could. Still, if Alex could help her get over her nerves and back on the field, then what did Tobin have to lose? 

"Fine, five minutes," Tobin said, compromising a little bit since she at least knew Alex was trying to help. 

"Get your cleats on and meet me on the field," Alex said giving her a nod, before jogging off to the field. 

Tobin did as she was instructed but she was still nervous. She tried to think about all the good times on the field, great times with her teammates. She thought about winning the World Cup, and all the medals and trophies she had acquired. 

A few minutes later Tobin hesitantly walked to the pitch. She stared at the ground and then back at Alex who had somehow managed to rope Ashlyn into helping with whatever she was going to do. 

"What are we doing?" Tobin asked, still on the sidelines. She wanted to step out there but it felt like there was a big wall between her and being ready. 

"We're going to take some shots on goal, and then you're going to block me," Alex called softly. She could see that Tobin wasn't really sure so she jogged over to her. "Don't worry you aren't going to hurt anybody and nobody will be out here to hurt you." 

Tobin stepped out on to the field and felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. She felt like the heavy fog of doubt was lifting and being replaced with joy at being on the pitch again. 

Alex watched the way the uncertainty in Tobin's eyes seemed to dissipate like a storm breaking. Alex didn't say anything though, just jogged to the field to take some practice shots while Tobin got reacquainted with the field. 

Alex let Tobin have some space for a while, watching the way the girl dribbles and practiced. It was good to see Tobin playing again and it made Alex feel a little bit better. She had missed Tobin, missed seeing her play so carefree. 

She watched as Tobin took a few shots on goal, even managing to sneak a few past Ashlyn. It was shades of the old Tobin and Alex couldn't help but feel like the moment was bitter sweet. It reminded her of how much she missed her friendship with the girl. Tobin even managed to still the ball from Alex a few times and nutmeg her as well. 

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your five minutes was up like half an hour ago," Alex called out to Tobin after the latest nutmeg.

Tobin glanced at her and actually smiled. "Yeah, I suppose it did end a bit ago. Too bad I was having fun." She replied, kicking the ball one last time towards Ashlyn who caught it. 

"Well, Jill will be excited to see you play tomorrow. I know everybody else will be excited to have you back." Alex mused heading over to the sidelines to take off her cleats. 

"Will you?" 

Alex looked up at the question to find Tobin looking rather vulnerable. "Will I what?" 

"Be excited to have me back?" Tobin asked, wanting to know if there was anything still left there between them. She knew she had feelings for Alex still, and she wondered if the girl had feelings for her too. 

Alex stared back at her and nodded. "I think I will be the most excited T, I missed you." 

Tobin took a shuddering breath and then forced a small smile. "See you out there than Alex. Maybe if we win, we can have a talk." 

"Yeah, I guess we better win then." Alex watched the girl walk away and sighed softly. 

Tobin headed back to the locker room. It had been a long time since she played out on the field in a game, but maybe now that she had gotten some confidence back it would be okay. Tobin was hopeful at the very least. 

She was hoping they win so she could at least work up the courage to try and make amends with her former best friend. She had a feeling like just with her back, it was going to be a long road to recovery.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, people wanted more of Talex so I decided to make this story a little longer. 
> 
> Tobin finally gets back on the USWNT field for a game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently people wanted more Talex. I thought this was going to just be a angsty one-shot but I guess here is some more Talex for you all. 
> 
> Also in life avoid having a broken ankle, getting the flu/being hydrated so you need an iv, having a cough, and then needing to go take a midterm that's worth 20 percent of your grade in the same week.
> 
> School has been killer sorry I haven't been around much  
> I love you all  
> ~Becks

Training was extensive for Alex, Jill had her running new drills, but Alex's mind wasn't just on the drills. Ever so often she would sneak a glance Tobin's way. It relieved her to see the way that Tobin was rejoining the team, it was like the girl hadn't missed a step, which made Alex happy. She wanted Tobin to feel like she belonged and she wanted to know that the girl was happy with the team. 

"Hey, baby horse you going to play or stare at the clouds all day," Ashlyn called, giving the strike a warning look. 

Alex rolled her eyes but she knew it was better that Ashlyn called her out, rather than Becky or Carli. She didn't want to disappoint her captains. She gave a nod to Ashlyn and then took a shot on goal, before jogging back to the back of the line. She knew just because she was popular, that didn't guarantee her a starting eleven spot. 

Tobin knew Alex was watching her, she had often felt the girls eyes on her during practice but she was trying to ignore the other brunette. She knew it wouldn't do her any good to get distracted. The practice was rough, but Tobin kept going for it, wanting to prove that she was just as committed to the game as she was before she got hurt. 

She made talk with Allie Long, glad that the girl was there to help readjust to being on the national team. They were practicing passing when Allie paused to ask Tobin a question. 

"Harry, why is Alex staring at you? I thought you guys were hardly friends anymore?" Allie asked softly, wondering what her friends were up to. 

"I don't know, I mean she helped me practice yesterday but I don't think we're friends. Just teammates are all we are." Tobin stole a glance at Alex, who quickly averted her gaze. She was trying to sound convincing, and besides it would only hurt her brain and her heart to figure out where she and Alex were at in their relationship. 

"Well she needs to stop pining over you and focus on practice or Jill will bench her." Allie pointed out to the other girl. 

Tobin snorted softly. "Unlikely, Jil loves Alex and maybe she wouldn't start her but she'd still play her." 

Allie shrugged and went back to playing, leaving Tobin to her thoughts.   
\--   
It was a couple hours after practice that Alex sat in her room talking to Ashlyn, the two Pride players were discussing strategies and techniques to bring back to their team. Alex could tell though that Ashlyn was wanting to ask her about Tobin, she had seen that look in Ashlyn's eyes before. 

"You can go ahead and ask, I know you want to." Alex finally gave in, there was no point in delaying the inevitable interrogation that was going to happen. She figured the least she could do was trying and be I control of how long it lasted. 

"Do you really still have feelings for Tobin? I mean I know you and Servando are separated and great friends now, but is it because of Tobin?" Ashlyn inquired trying to figure everything out. Ashly didn't want to see her friend get hurt again, she didn't want to see the girl go down a bad path. 

Alex sighed knowing very well that her answer was complicated. Things weren't black and white, and she hoped Ashlyn would accept her answer and not push her. 

"I've had feelings for Tobin for a long time, there is no denying that. I thought that I could move on, that I could find my happy ending in Orlando. I couldn't cheat on Serv, I wanted to be a good wife. I thought to move to Florida so I was closer would solve those issues but that didn't." Alex was finding it hard, to be honest, she knew she cared about Tobin. She loved her and honestly more than anything that scared the shit out of her. 

Alex ran a hand through her hair, tugging at it lightly in frustration. Having to confront her feelings was never easy, having to be truthful with herself about the hard stuff felt a lot like a punch in the gut. 

Ashlyn who had been silent for a bit, reached out to gently squeeze Alex's hand. Ashlyn knew what it was like to have to process through a lot of emotional baggage. She could empathize with the girl, but she wanted her to feel like it was okay to not have all the answers. 

"I know it's not a solution but maybe you and Tobin can just start small on mending the friendship. Just simple conversations." Ashlyn suggested, trying her best to be supportive. 

Alex nodded her head. "Yeah, I am going to try." She thought back to the conversation she had last had with Tobin. Tobin had agreed to a conversation if they won, and so Alex was pretty desperate to make sure that they would win. 

\---   
Tobin stared out at the field, watching with interest as Mallory Pugh jogged towards her to let her sub in. Tobin was nervous and yet everything felt far away as if it was a movie or some sort of dream. The New Zealand team wasn't half bad, but all Tobin could think about was how the crowd seemed to be buzzing louder and louder. 

Before she knew it Mallory was in front of her giving her a warm smile and mumbling words of encouragement. Taking one last deep breath Tobin jogged out onto the field to take up her position. The roar of the crowd welcoming her back seemed to help shake off the last bit of nerves. Her mind was going a million miles a minute and when the whistle blew she felt ready. 

 

Alex was having a rather decent game, but she couldn't help but smile when Tobin got subbed it. To her, it was almost like watching those marine rescues, like after being healed a seal would be released back into the water. Seeing Tobin stepping back into a game made her feel like she seeing something come full circle. 

A short time later the final score stood 5-0 with the USA winning. Alex had scored a brace but more than that she felt like the team had shifted a bit in their mood. They were all on an adrenaline high from winning, but everybody seemed more confident now that Tobin was back. Alex couldn't deny she felt more confident too. 

Catching the other woman's eye, Alex grinned and gave her a big thumbs up. "Great job out there, I think everybody was glad you got subbed in. Soon you'll be starting." Alex encouraged. 

Tobin gave a small smile and ducked her head almost bashfully. "Everybody played well, I was just glad to be able to play with everybody again." 

Alex nodded, she understood how it felt to come back from injury. "Well, I am glad you got some well-deserved minutes. Welcome back Tobin." Alex wanted to give her a hug, but she wasn't sure they were at that stage of friendship. She patted her shoulder lightly and then moved to go shake hands with the other players and teammates. 

Later that evening Alex was getting ready for bed when she heard a knock on her door. She looked over at Ashlyn who was busy texting Ali and arched a brow. "I'll get it I guess." She muttered, seeing that the keeper had made no move to get the door. 

Alex walked over to the door and opened it, surprised to find that Tobin was on the other side of the door. 

"Tobin, what are you doing here?" Alex asked, looking confused. 

Tobin shifted almost unsure of herself. "I thought maybe we could finally have that talk I promised you if we won. I mean if you still want to." 

Alex nodded her head. "Of course, I would like that a lot." The striker said turning to grab her jacket. She was hoping this conversation would bring some closure to what had gone down.


	3. It's a long, long way back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of the drabble, Alex and Tobin have that talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So really this story was only supposed to be one angsty chapter but you got another two out of me. I might revisit this AU someday, but for now they have kind of made their peace. I hope you like it. 
> 
> -Becks

Tobin was being quiet and Alex was almost scared to ask if they were, in fact, going to have the conversation Tobin had promised. Once upon a time, they would have been comfortable in the silence, but now it felt heavy. Alex shifted in her pace, bringing her jacket tighter around herself to fight off both the cold and the discomfort. It was a foreign feeling to not be comfortable with her former best friend, Alex was still questioning how things had deteriorated so fast for them. 

"Tobin?" 

Tobin looked up, shaken out of her thoughts. She looked at Alex, arching a brow. "Sorry, I kind of got lost in my thoughts." 

Alex stopped walking, deciding that she wasn't going to take another step forward until they handled what was going on. She didn't want to push Tobin, but she wanted closure of some kind. 

Looking back, Tobin seemed to realize Alex had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Looking back down the street Tobin could see that they had lost sight of the hotel and had wandered pretty far away from the safety net of their teammates. 

"I owe you an apology," Tobin admitted after a long moment. She moved back to where Alex was standing and stood across from her a few paces. 

"You didn't do anything wrong." Alex was confused now, she didn't even know what had happened between the two of them. She had known that her leaving to Orlando had made Tobin mad, but she didn't completely understand. Thier feelings for each other whether best friends or more had always been complicated. 

"Yes I did Alex. I have spent the last two years being so mad at you. I felt like you abandoned me in Portland when you went to Orlando and then you went to Lyon for a while and I was just so mad." Tobin said looking at Alex. She was doing her best to lay out all her cards on the table for the striker. Tobin was tired of being tense around her former friend. "I was acting like a selfish child, who didn't get their way." 

Alex watched her friend, trying to figure out just how they had gotten to this point. "Do you know why I left Tobin?" Alex asked softly, as she tilted her head to the side. 

Tobin shrugged her shoulders, unable to look at Alex anymore. "I figured you were missing Servando, and you wanted to get the hell away from me." She felt vulnerable, and she didn't like it. She didn't like feeling this way, didn't like having Alex staring at her with pity. 

"I was in love with you Tobin. I was in love with you but I was married to somebody else. I wasn't going to cheat so I ran because it's what I do best." Alex forced the words out. She didn't want Tobin to blame herself anymore. "So if anybody should be apologizing it's me." 

"Wait! What?" Tobin squeaked out, almost unsure if she had heard Alex right. A million and one thoughts were going through Tobin's head now. Why was Alex telling her this now, had her feelings been reciprocated the whole time? 

Grimacing at having to repeat herself, Alex did so never the less. "Tobin I was in love with you, I had to go so I wouldn't cheat. Servando didn't deserve that and neither did you, you deserved somebody who wasn't going to fuck with your heart and your head." Alex had spent months agonizing over the choices she had made. Servando had known that she was no longer in love with him, but he had still provided her with a home and a safe place in Orlando. The man had been far better than Alex had deserved. 

Tobin shifted her gaze up to the sky, wondering why God was torturing her with Alex's love confession far too late. "I hated you for leaving, I thought you were being selfish." 

Alex shook her head. "I was being selfish but not in the way you think. I was being selfish and drowning in self-preservation trying to get away before I fucked up our friendship. I guess I still managed to do that in the end. I am sorry Tobin." Alex knew that it was better to have it all out in the open. 

"I forgive you, Alex." Tobin couldn't take the distance anymore, she missed her so much. She hugged her tightly as if that would somehow melt the ice that developed between them. 

Alex stiffened at first, assuming that Tobin was going to hit her. Feeling Tobin hugging her instead, she melted into the embrace and hugged her back. The two years of tension felt like it was melting the longer the hug went on. 

At last Tobin pulled away, leaving Alex feeling cold. "Alex, I don't know if I am ready to completely be friends again, but I would like to try," Tobin said offering a hand to the girl as a sign of friendship. "I liked you too back then, probably more than I should have. Maybe we can work on this friendship thing?" 

Alex gave a tiny nod. "Yeah, of course. I would like that Tobin." She looked back towards the hotel. "It's a long road back, we should get started."


End file.
